Title: Hot Love Inferno
Author: Nicky Blue
Genre: Sci-fi Humor
A half-woman, half-cockroach fused in a bizarre gardening accident? That would be Mrs Jittery Twitch, dwelling in the shadows of our misdeeds. If in danger, you can call upon her help… all she asks is your soul as payment. But she’s just a legend, so no need to worry. Barry Harris is a 28-year-old man, still living with his dear old mum in a little flat above a hairdresser.
His obsession with Star Trek and the martial arts won’t help him when he’s forced out on a date. And nobody knows about the weird string of events that’s about to put everyone’s lives in danger. A trio of samurai warriors and the strangest offer of help lead Barry on a perilous mission to save the day. (This book is the second in the Prophecy Allocation series but works fine as a standalone read.)
For nature lovers, this was the perfect time of the year; the
terror of winter now a fading memory, the daffodils poking
their heads up, ushering in nine months of peace and solitude
in the great outdoors. That is, if you weren’t having your
eardrums assaulted by Brian Fowler.
Barry Harris was beginning to realise why his had been
the only application to the local council for this rather
‘Have you heard of the legend of Mrs Jittery Twitch?’
asked Brian, putting down his can of herbicide and leaning on
the fence that separated their allotments.
‘No,’ replied Barry, wondering wearily if this was some
kind of joke.
‘She used to be a familiar part of local folklore, but people
dare not talk about her anymore, and no one really knows if
she exists. Some say she’s half woman, half cockroach, and
came into being when the two were fused in a bizarre gardening accident. Others say she’s a mutated demon sent from the hell realms to punish the wicked.’
‘Really?’ Barry’s eyes widened sarcastically as he sat on an
upside down bucket, forgetting about his work.
‘She lives in the corners of reality, watching us. She knows
our shadow sides intimately, and feeds on the hate of our
The colour started to drain from Barry’s face, so he
looked down and scratched at the dirt with a twig to hide it
from Brian. ‘What does she look like?’ he asked, trying to
make it sound like he didn’t really care.
‘It’s said she has five hundred arms and burning eyes that
can melt your brain just by looking at you. She wears thick
dark glasses, and only takes them off when she decides
punishment is justified.’
‘Shit!’ Barry fumbled with his flask to reassure himself,
twisting the top off clumsily. ‘How do we know she’s not just
a fairy tale?’
Brian took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the
back of his neck. He’d snared his audience, and knew the
value of a dramatic pause. He continued slowly.
‘There is…a way…to summon her, but only if you need
help fighting your enemies.’
‘How?’ asked Barry, now hanging on Brian’s every word.
‘Listen, this isn’t something you want to know about, and
I don’t even know if it works. No one dares beckon her,
because they will be forever in her debt if they do. If she
came calling for you in the future, you might have to perform
unspeakable acts on her behalf.’
Barry had fallen for Brian’s favourite trick—get ‘em keen
then treat ‘em mean— and he hated not knowing. He was
one of those people that had to see the end of a movie no
matter how dreadful it was. ‘Just tell me!’ His nostrils started
‘Alright, since you’ve forced my hand. Are you really sure
you want to know? I have warned you…’
Barry’s face began its rapid, well-known transformation
into purple, making Brian chuckle.
‘Calm down, old man, I will tell you. You simply have to
recite the following incantation out loud.’ Brian fetched a pen
from his shed and scribbled away on the back of his yearly
planting calendar. ‘Just look at it, don’t even read it in your
Are you a devil? Are you a witch? Judge the soul of my
enemies, Mrs Jittery Twitch.
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Hi, I'm Nicky, I am from Brighton in England. I have a passion for writing dark comedy & sci-fi fiction. Alongside this, I work as a translator on the planet KELT 2Ab in the Andromeda Galaxy. I'm thinking of leaving though, as the commute is killing me. I'm currently working on a series of comic and strange tales about alternative musicians from the 1980s. If you would like some of my work for free, keep updated and have some fun, come and join my reader's list at: www.nickyblue.com/read
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